Today there is no self--judgement, just a place to come and say to myself and anyone who is reading this, is that a week today on the May Day Bank Holiday, I had my beloved cocker spaniel Conny put to sleep. I took her to the vets on Monday29th April as she had been off her food a little and I felt she needed to be checked over. The vet took a blood sample off her and told me to come back on Wednesday 1st May.
Wednesday morning arrived, Conny and I went back to the Vet, to be told that her blood sample was showing some high levels of phosphorus indicating issues with her kidneys. The Vet decided to keep her in for a renal flush, Treatment of kidney failure in dogs occurs in two phases. The first phase is to "restart" the kidneys. Large quantities of intravenous fluids are given to "flush out" the kidneys. This flushing process, called diuresis, helps to stimulate the kidney cells to function again. If enough functional kidney cells remain, they may be able to adequately meet the body's needs for waste removal. Fluid therapy includes replacement of various electrolytes, especially potassium.
I went back to the Vets later in the afternoon, I saw a different Vet who told me Conny was a very poorly dog. They also scanned Conny whilst she was in, one of her kidneys was very small with signs of deterioration and her liver wasn't looking healthy.
The prognosis wasn't good.
We were told to keep her on a low protein diet and bring her back on Friday for a review.
We took her back on Friday, they took another blood sample to check her blood levels but couldn't say how long she had left, we were given the option to have her put to sleep there and then. We were both stunned and said we weren't ready for that, we would take her home, see how she goes.
We made her as comfortable as we could, we sat with her when she wanted company and left her to sleep on the sofa when she wanted some peace. My daughter Jenna came home from University to visit and say her goodbyes to Conny, Jenna was 8years old when I got Conny.
|Jenna & Conny|
On the Saturday we took Conny to a place she loved to go swimming (Fairhaven Lake), we drove her up there in the car and she found enough strength to walk into the park and into the water. She had a potter around on the grass and then came home. Over the week-end people who knew and loved Conny came to visit and say goodbye to her. We were so touched by this. On the Bank Holiday Monday Conny had stopped eating. She was on the sofa (her favourite place) and I told her it was okay for her to go, that she didn't have to hang on anymore. I asked her to give me a sign that she was ready. She touched my face with hers and I knew but didnt' want to believe it. I asked the Universe to send me a sign to confirm what Conny had told me. A pigeon flew into the garden and dropped a feather, Conny loved to chase pigeons out of the garden. I picked the feather up and took it to Conny, she sniffed it and I placed it on her cushion for her, she rested her chin on it and she looked peaceful. Later in the afternoon the Vet arrived and put her to sleep at home.
|Conny resting with her feather|
I have been very lucky to have had such a wonderful dog, a dogs love is unconditional and I loved her unconditionally in return.
GOD is Dog spelt backwards
I read a post which Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat, Pray, Love put on her facebook page, she wrote a tribute to her cat Clifford which she had to have put to sleep this week-end. She writes: