Saturday, 30 June 2012

Comfort in tea

I have moved through this morning in a military style, cleaning up the kitchen, doing the dishes, putting washing on, hanging washing out, clearing out the stock pile of potatoes and carrotts which made their way into a vegetable soup.  I'm not sure I eased my way through my morning at all, my head has been echoing the washing machine, a jumble of thoughts and feelings.
The thing is with washing, it gets jumbled around in the machine, I take it out and its clean. I unravel socks caught up in knickers, I unravel knickers caught up in bra-straps,  and I excavate socks out of the duvet cover. I hang it outside on the line, it's in some kind of order and it's unravelled.

I go to make a cup of tea, I'm currently drinking Twinnings Chai Tea, it has a spicy taste about it.  I read the poem on the box, it's a poem by Gladstone:

If you are cold, tea will warm you.
If you are too heated, tea will cool you.
If you are too depressed, tea will cheer you.
If you are too exhausted, tea will calm you!

Does tea really do this?....or is it the way we drink our tea which does this? I have drunk my tea mindfully, in the moment.  Without my washing machine mind, I am no longer depressed.  I have purposefully sat down to drink my tea, I do feel calmer because I am relaxing into the moment.
I have picked flowers to enjoy whilst sipping my tea, I love the combination of orange nasturtiums  alongside a dark purple aquilegia.  I have been reading my book, this i know, notes on unravelling the heart by Susannah Conway.

I love this book, I am very reluctant to finish it, it is the sort of book you will want to buy as a gift for a friend.  I gave my first copy away to Pat, my College tutor, she is retiring so I'm not sure if I will see her again.  I felt on some level she would really like it, so I gave her my copy, the copy which I hadn't finished reading.  I felt a bit bereft after giving it away, and wondered why I did this when I hadn't even finished reading for myself.  I got myself another copy from amazon - I feel gratitude for amazon.  I like the idea that Pat just might be reading it at the same time as me,  and, by giving, I am receiving.  When I sink into the moment of thinking about Pat reading this book, I feel soft, gentle, I feel a loving energy, I feel pleased for the love given by me to Pat in the token of this book.  I feel the love that Susannah gave birthing her first book. 

I am reminded that when my washing machine head stops, when we unravel, hang to dry, we find love, we find ourselves, we are love.  

Cup of tea Love?

"When you are praising, when you are appreciating, when you are acknowledging value, when you are looking for positive aspects, when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous, when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times, there IS NO RESISTANCE within you. You are, in those moments, vibrationally up to speed with who you really are."
~ Abraham-Hicks

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Making Space

I'm currently taking part in Hannah Marcotti's Making Space Cleanse Summer Solstice, I so enjoyed the benefits of the  New Year Cleanse that it felt perfectly natural to sign up for the Summer Solstice Cleanse and I am really making changes on a deeper level this time around.

I've been clutter busting my closet

Closet Before

Closet After

 Walking into that space just feels so much better now for me having a good "sort out".  There is a shelf above the closet door which holds shoe boxes etc and I have a couple of boxes which are home to some memorabilia, little drawings made by daughter when she was younger, notes to the tooth-fairy etc.  Then I came across my wedding day cards, I got married in 1987 and I have been divorced approx 8 years, what was I hanging on to those cards for? So, I got them out of the box, looked at them, then promptly found them a new home - in the paper recycling bag.  The more I thought about it, those cards represented a dream I once held for myself, marriage, creating my own happy home etc....I was holding onto an old dream, an old part of my life - there is no room for the past in my present.  And I am reminded of a quote I came across recently - "you cannot drive forward looking in the rear view mirror"

Hannah has also got us looking at the ritual of our mornings, how do we flow into the start of each day? My day always starts with drinking hot lemon water, however, I usually find that I have to dry up and put away pots from the previous day before I  get to the hot lemon water stage.
This is not a good way to start my day.  So the question Hannah asked was, how can we take our mornings to the next level?  I considered this for a while, the answer came pretty quickly, clear up my kitchen the night before.  So, yesterday, this is what I did. This allowed me to step into this morning without having to pick up any dishes from last night, as a result, I made space, in this space I sat and drank my lemon water, I made a Kale smoothie, did a little Yoga (let's emphasise the word "little"), made my bed and covered it with a bedspread I like (I can do that when the other half is away at the moment!), I started to read a new book which arrived in the post this morning, Feng Shui Your Life by Tisha Morris.

Morning Love

Do you have any rituals to help you ease into your morning?

Friday, 15 June 2012


"It's time we should talk about it, there are no secrets kept in here"

The above lyrics are courtesy of China Crisis and their wonderful tune from the 80's Wishful Thinking.  They seem quite poignant, as currently I am participating in Hannah Marcotti's Making Space for Surrender which is inviting me to open up to what I am currently fighting with in my life and understand the truths to emerge from the fight. One of my truths is that I keep secrets, my own, and others.  Why do I keep my own secrets? To stay safe. Safe from judgement and criticism from others.
Does keeping my secrets enhance my life? - No.  
Can I begin to reveal my secrets? Yes, but maybe only slowly in a gentle unravelling kind of way.

Secret No 1 - I like to hug trees
Secret No 2  - I have been a sinner
Secret No 3 - I'm not good at Maths
Secret No 4- I often wonder why the banks can't print more money to get the economy out of recession
Secret No 5 -  I have seen my own Aura - it was like a light show
Secret No 6 - I used to be a really good speller, now my spelling is detoriating as I get older - I worry about this
Secret No 7 - I like to break rules
Secret No 8 - I play hide and seek with my Dog
Secret No 9 - I sometimes fart when I cough - this is getting embarassing, particularly if it happens in supermarkets!
Secret No 10 - I shout at the TV when England are playing

Do you have secrets you would like to share?

Friday, 8 June 2012

Unexpected stillness

Unexpected stillness descended upon our home early evening yesterday by means of a power cut. A quick call to our electricity supplier confirmed that approx 30 homes in our area had been affected, power would be restored by either 10:30pm that evening or 8am the following morning.

My early evening ritual of lighting candles had already started before the said power cut.  However, I was able to extend my t-light fest all around the home! It reminded me of the last time we participated in earth hour, where we turned of the lights, TV, computer - it generates such a stillness.  I always feel that electric items always create a "silent noise".

As there were no TV  to watch, play stations to do battle on, computers to entertain, everyone migrated into the back room to have a chat whilst I pottered about lighting up more candles. It is a sad confession, but very rarely do we come together as a family unit and spend time with each other (apart from meal times). 

I found the space within the stillness very welcoming, I feel a return to how we can be, how we are, without the constant distraction of media - TV, computers, etc.....and in that moment, I recognised a simplicity that is seriously lacking in my life, a simplicity I had before a PC became just another household commodity.  I shifted with some unease around this.  The truth was (is) I'm just as distracted by the internet and facebook as the rest of the family (apart from my partner who doesn't have a facebook account).  

A couple of things I can take from this:
1. I need to cut back on my internet/pc time - maybe I should think of starting a low IT diet? restrict myself to maybe 30 mins on-line time a day.
2. I would like to dedicate one evening a week and spend that time together as a family, playing cards, a game etc

T-light Peace

Power was restored after an hour from reporting the outage - the family fragmented back to the usual routine.